Adventskalenderbloggen:
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Hver morgen fra og med 1. til og med 24. desember blogges en luke i kalenderen, og her kan man finne noe hyggelig eller morsomt eller nyttig eller fint eller gøy; bilder, vers, aktiviteter, oppskrifter, sjokolade ... Det er bare lukeutøvernes fantasi som setter grensene.
2021-adventskalenderen:

Før julen ringes inn - 6

Kalenderpiken sa for 2år siden:

[CENTER]FORELDREPORTALENS FANTASTISKE FØRJULSTRADISJON

1. årgang -

[1 Heilo] [2 Nenne] [3 Mex] [4 Fersken] [5 Che] [6 Toffskij]
[7 Tjorven] [8 Blånn] [9 ingling] [10 oslo78] [11 Tallulah] [12 Skilpadda]
[13 Pøblis] [14 amo] [15 Floka] [16 Dali] [17 tink] [18 daffy] [19 vixen]
[20 Taien] [21 007] [22 annemede] [23 Maverick] [24 celebelen][/CENTER]

I denne luka er det en sang og to bokutdrag, løselig inspirert av denne (muligens apokryfe) trykkfeilen.[1]

Det gikk litt galt for Dillard's det året. Men hvis de bare hadde hørt litt mer på Flight of the Conchords, ville de visst at Santa er et satanagram.

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(Ikke akkurat en julesang, men alle bør jo høre på Flight of the Conchords!)

Dillard's-annonsen leder også tankene hen til verdens morsomste julebok, som er Terry Pratchett's Hogfather, hvor Døden (dere vet, mannen med ljåen) ved en inkurie blir nødt til å ta på seg jobben som kjøpesenternisse. Han forstår ikke helt hvordan det fungerer.

In the Grotto of the Hogfather, a round-eyed child.
HAPPY HOGSWATCH. HO. HO. HO. AND YOUR NAME IS…EUPHRASIA GOAT, CORRECT?
“Go on, dear, answer the nice man.”
“’s.”
AND YOU ARE SIX YEARS OLD.
“Go on, dear. They’re all the same at this age, aren’t they…”
“’s.”
AND YOU WANT A PONY—
“’s.”

A small hand pulled the Hogfather’s hood down to mouth level. Heavy Uncle Albert heard a ferocious whispering. Then the Hogfather leaned back.

YES, I KNOW. WHAT A NAUGHTY PIG IT WAS, INDEED.

His shape flickered for a moment, and then a hand went into the sack.

HERE IS A BRIDLE FOR YOUR PONY, AND A SADDLE, AND A RATHER STRANGE HARD HAT AND A PAIR OF THOSE TROUSERS THAT MAKE YOU LOOK AS THOUGH YOU HAVE A LARGE RABBIT IN EACH POCKET.
“But we can’t have a pony, can we, Euffie, because we live on the third floor…”
OH, YES. IT’S IN THE KITCHEN.
“I’m sure you’re making a little joke, Hogfather,” said Mother, sharply.
HO. HO. YES. WHAT A JOLLY FAT MAN I AM. IN THE KITCHEN? WHAT A JOKE. DOLLIES AND SO ON WILL BE DELIVERED LATER AS PER YOUR LETTER.
“What do you say, Euffie?”
“’nk you.”

“’ere, you didn’t really put a pony in their kitchen, did you?” said Heavy Uncle Albert as the line moved on.
DON’T BE FOOLISH, ALBERT. I SAID THAT TO BE JOLLY.
“Oh, right. Hah, for a minute—”
IT’S IN THE BEDROOM.
“Ah…”
MORE HYGIENIC.
“Well, it’ll make sure of one thing,” said Albert. “Third floor? They’re going to believe all right.”
YES. YOU KNOW, I THINK I’M GETTING THE HANG OF THIS. HO. HO. HO.

Og når man er inne på malplasserte personer som snakker med store bokstaver, må jeg bare avslutte med en snutt av verdens beste julespillscene, fra John Irvings A Prayer for Owen Meany. Jeg hadde en lærer på videregående som alltid leste hele scenen høyt for alle klassene sine hver jul med verdens beste Owen Meany-stemme, en uforglemmelig opplevelse!

It was only our second rehearsal of the Christmas Pageant when Owen decided that the crib, in which he could fit – but tightly – was unnecessary and even incorrect. Dudley Wiggin based his entire view of the behavior of the Christ Child on the Christmas carol ‘Away in a Manger,’ of which there are only two verses.
It was this carol that convinced the Rev. Mr Wiggin that the Baby Jesus mustn’t cry.

The cat-tle are low-ing, the ba-by a-wakes, But lit-tle Lord Je-sus, no cry-ing he makes.

If Mr Wiggin put such stock in the second verse of ‘Away in a Manger,’ Owen argued that we should also be instructed by the very first verse.

A-way in a man-ger, no crib for his bed, The lit-tle Lord Je-sus laid down his sweet head.

‘IF IT SAYS THERE WAS NO CRIB, WHY DO WE HAVE A CRIB?’ Owen asked. Clearly, he found the crib restraining. ‘“THE STARS IN THE SKY LOOKED DOWN WHERE HE LAY, THE LIT-TLE LORD JE-SUS, A-SLEEP ON THE HAY,”’ Owen sang.

Thus did Owen get his way, again; ‘on the hay’ was where he would lie, and he proceeded to arrange all the hay within the crèche in such a fashion that his comfort would be assured, and he would be sufficiently elevated and tilted toward the audience – so that no one could possibly miss seeing him.

‘THERE’S ANOTHER THING,’ Owen advised us. ‘YOU NOTICE HOW THE SONG SAYS, “THE CATTLE ARE LOWING”? WELL, IT’S A GOOD THING WE’VE GOT COWS. THE TURTLEDOVES COULDN’T DO MUCH “LOWING.”’

If cows were what we had, they were the sort of cows that required as much imagination to identify as the former turtledoves had required. Mary Beth Baird’s cow costumes may have been inspired by Mary Beth’s elevated status to the role of the Virgin Mary, but the Holy Mother had not offered divine assistance, or even divine workmanship, toward the making of the costumes themselves. Mary Beth appeared to have been confused mightily by all the images of Christmas; her cows had not only horns but antlers – veritable racks, more suitable to reindeer, which Mary Beth may have been thinking of. Worse, the antlers were soft; that is, they were constructed of a floppy material, and therefore these astonishing ‘horns’ were always collapsing upon the faces of the cows themselves – obliterating entirely their already impaired vision, and causing more than usual confusion in the crèche: cows stepping on each other, cows colliding with donkeys, cows knocking down kings and shepherds.

‘The cows, if that’s what they are,’ Barb Wiggin observed, ‘should maintain their positions and not move around – not at all. We wouldn’t want them to trample the Baby Jesus, would we?’ A deeply crazed glint in Barb Wiggin’s eye made it appear that she thought trampling the Baby Jesus would register in the neighborhood of a divine occurrence, but Owen, who was always anxious about being stepped on – and excessively so, now that he was prone and helpless on the hay – echoed Barb Wiggin’s concern for the cows.

‘YOU COWS, JUST REMEMBER. YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE “LOWING,” NOT MILLING AROUND.’
‘I don’t want the cows “lowing” or milling around,’ Barb Wiggin said. ‘I want to be able to hear the singing, and the reading from the Bible. I want no “lowing.”’
‘LAST YEAR, YOU HAD THE TURTLEDOVES COOING,’ Owen reminded her.
‘Clearly, this isn’t last year,’ Barb Wiggin said.
‘Now now,’ the rector said.
‘THE SONG SAYS “THE CATTLE ARE LOWING,”’ Owen said.
‘I suppose you want the donkeys hee-hawing!’ Barb Wiggin shouted.
‘THE SONG SAYS NOTHING ABOUT DONKEYS,’ Owen said.
‘Perhaps we’re being too literal about this song,’ Mr Wiggin interjected, but I knew there was no such thing as ‘too literal’ for Owen Meany, who grasped orthodoxy from wherever it could be found.

God advent! Husk å finne noe å le av!

[1] Jeg har merket meg at mange av dere har gått tilbake og sett på gamle innlegg, men det har ikke jeg, så det kan godt hende jeg har stilt med minst en av disse før. Jeg har faktisk en vag følelse av det. :knegg:

Eia sa for 2år siden:

Owen Meany! :hjerter:

Hogfather må jeg visst lese.

Takk for herlig luke!

nolo sa for 2år siden:

Vidunderlig luke. :hjerter:

Heilo sa for 2år siden:

:knegg:

God jul!

Tjorven sa for 2år siden:

Owen Meany :hjerteøyne: - det var jammen lenge siden og et hjertelig gjensyn. :knegg:

Tusen takk for en veldig passende kalenderluke. Jeg liker at vi har fokus på helt forskjellige ting.

Blå sa for 2år siden:

Fantastisk luke. Takk

Jeg må lese Hogfather igjen kjenner jeg.

him sa for 2år siden:

:hjerter:

Nenne sa for 2år siden:

Jeg ler og ler av den annonsen. :latter: Det MÅ ha vært mange som tok et ekstra godt grep om perlene sine deromkring. :humre:

tink sa for 2år siden:

Takk for fin luke, og ikke minst et genialt litteraturtips til storebror sin julesokk. Tror han kan sette pris på Terry Pratchett sin gale humor.

#10

Polyanna sa for 2år siden:

Takk for Owen Meany! :elsker: Hele julespillsekvensen er så utrolig bra, jeg ler så jeg nesten griner hver gang! :haha:

Og annonsen! :haha:

#11

Toffskij sa for 2år siden:

Alle må gå og lese julespillsekvensen i sin helhet. :nemlig:

#12

Maverick sa for 2år siden:

Er det rart man elsker Death. :hjerter: Og ja, det er jo så klart Hogfather jeg skal lese nå! :hyper:

#13

Skilpadda sa for 2år siden:

Fantastisk luke! :haha: Det er altfor lenge siden jeg har lest Owen Meany, og selv Hogfather tror jeg har fått ligge i i alle fall en håndfull år for lenge. Burde gjøre noe med det!

#14

007 sa for 2år siden:

:latter: Annonsen.

#15

Mex sa for 2år siden:

:knegg:
Takk for artig luke!

#16

Dali sa for 2år siden:

:lol:

#17

Pøblis sa for 2år siden:

Åh! Owen Meany! :elsker:

Søsteren min, presten, lo og lo av den annonsen og skulle ta den med på neste stabsmøte på jobb. :knegg:

#18

Toffskij sa for 2år siden:

Sånn bør geistligheten reagere! :nemlig: